The True Meaning Of Success

My graduation day marked a huge milestone for me, for so many reasons. It was undeniably the happiest day of my life. On our graduation stage, the guest-speaker looked down at the crowd of graduates in their gowns and said, “Remember: Success is not a destination point – it’s a journey”. Those words spoke to me massively, as I recalled the amount of setbacks and emotional-knocks I experienced to reach that day… If you are struggling to succeed in any way, or know somebody who is, perhaps the story of my journey will help you. So, today, I have decided to share it.

Success is not a destination point. It’s a journey.

 

My entire educational life has been complicated and rocky. I may be confident and  collected now – but when I was at school, I was bullied and suffered from depression. Consequently, as a child and teenager, I was confused about both myself and my future. I’ll never forget that one morning (while I was on the bus to school) I was so distressed at the thought of attending school that day, that I got off the bus before it pulled up to the building and I ditched school for the day. It was very unlike me to break rules, and I got into a lot of trouble for missing school that day. When I was asked why I did it by my parents and teachers, I was too afraid to tell the real truth or ask for help. For years, I kept my struggles to myself. And whilst I didn’t terribly fail at my GCSEs or A-Levels, I also never excelled like I could have. Looking back, I was definitely intellectually capable of achieving higher than what I did at school. But the social-aspect of school, and my mental health, prevented me from achieving the best I could have. So I left school at 18 years old, feeling deflated and disillusioned.

For the following two years, I tried my best to suppress all of my painful past memories and get my life ‘in order’. Or at least, what I thought at the time made a life ‘in order’: Having a jam-packed social life; Graduating after three years of university; And having everything ‘figured out’ long before I was 25 years old. Indeed, for a long time, that was how I measured personal accomplishment and happiness. So I moved to Cardiff in Wales to attend university, in an effort run away from my past problems and start afresh. But during my first term (despite being accepted into my chosen university and course, attending uncountable amounts of student parties, and ‘living my best life’ according to social media), I was still depressed. That’s right, despite having everything that society says makes a ‘perfect life’ for a young adult – I was still enormously unhappy. Unhappy because I had never dealt with my personal problems head-on. I was living a life untrue to myself, and I never felt more alone. It came to a point where I had to drop-out of Cardiff University, and booked a one-way flight home. In my mind, I had failed once again. And any hope I had of one day succeeding in life seemed to be an illusion rather than a reality.

When I returned home, I felt that I had reached ‘rock bottom’. There I was – 20 years of age, and I hadn’t begun to achieve anything that I thought I would by that stage. But I read a quote online that said, “If you have hit rock bottom, let it become the solid foundation on which you can rebuild your life”. So in that epiphanic moment, I had given myself two options: I could keep chasing this pipe-dream of what ‘personal success’ is, and continue to feel disappointed; Or, I could accept the reality of who I was, and live a life true to myself. In the end, I decided to apply for Queen’s University Belfast to study English. And instead of denying my ongoing mental-health issues, I sought medical assistance alongside my studies. Lastly, I realised having true friendships doesn’t mean the amount of people who surround you during parties. Instead, I met some of the most wonderful people at university. People who genuinely care about my wellbeing, and have become some of my best friends for life.

If you have hit rock bottom, let it become the solid foundation on which you can rebuild your life

Now, at the age of 24, I finally feel that I’m succeeding. I have graduated with a 2.1 degree in a course that means something to me. I have friends and family who love me. And I have been officially ‘cleared’ of depression. I’ve never felt happiness nor contentment like this, and I’m so optimistic about my future. So if you’re struggling to achieve, or feeling demotivated in life, just remember to believe in yourself. Success isn’t measured by the amount of qualifications or ‘tick-boxes’ you have achieved by a certain age (although many may try to tell you that this is the case). Life is more complicated than that, and is full of ups-and-downs. You will only ever find true personal success if you are also true to yourself. It is about trying your best with the ability that you have, at a pace that’s right for you. And if you start to feel that you have no hope of ever achieving that, just remember: If I can do it, you can do it.

Success is like a ladder. It’s the climb that you should feel proud of.